I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of
natural causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed
and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground
easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
D
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. 
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the
next thing that comes outta its butt."
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why does your OBSTETRICIAN-GYNACOLOGIST leave the room when you get undressed if they are going
to look up there anyway? 
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? 
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
I'm sure it makes sense - somehow 
2007-06-15 @ 14:35